Spiritual Hygiene: Finding Solutions, Not Excuses

Today, I am choosing to own the parts of my life that I can control.

Last night, I was in tremendous pain from an ear infection that affected the entire right side of my face. The pain was almost impossible to explain. I increased my pain medication because the generic version was not working, and I also used my medicated THC. It may sound like a collection of emotions, but when you finally get a full night’s sleep after suffering and then wake up to something unexpected, it can hit hard.

This morning, I woke up to a video that a family member had recorded. In that video, my son was helping me get to bed. Watching it broke my heart. The embarrassment hit me immediately. To me, it looked like my son was taking care of a drug-induced mother. At nearly 50 years old, I broke down emotionally. I felt ashamed, defeated, and overwhelmed.

The truth is that the video only showed a moment. It did not show the pain behind that moment. It did not show the ear infection, the toothache, the migraines, the neuropathy, the arthritis, the nerve pain, the spinal issues, or the medication I take to reduce fluid buildup behind my eyes. It did not explain that I was simply trying to manage unbearable pain.

We live in a time where people are quick to record vulnerable moments without understanding the full story. A few seconds of video can create an entire narrative without context. What others may see as someone impaired may actually be someone suffering.

What hurts the most is knowing my son had to help me. Earlier this year, in February, we lost his father. The grief is still fresh. To think that he had to guide me, support me, and help me get to bed while I appeared unable to care for myself weighs heavily on my heart. I can only imagine what was going through his mind.

I am not angry at anyone. I am trying to understand my own emotions. Am I upset because I needed help? Am I embarrassed by what I saw? Am I questioning the decisions I made while trying to relieve my pain? The truth is, I do not have all the answers right now.

What I do know is that this experience reminded me of the importance of spiritual hygiene.

Spiritual hygiene is not about soap, lotion, or physical cleanliness. It is about caring for the condition of your mind, your heart, your spirit, and your soul. It is about recognizing when your thoughts are overwhelmed and choosing to restore yourself before moving forward.

Today, I am not creating crafts. I am not forcing myself to be productive. Today, I am using my words.

My words are helping me process what my mind, body, and spirit are carrying. I refuse to create anything when I am not in the right emotional space to put my spiritual touch into it. Before I can lead others, mentor others, or set an example for others, I must first take care of myself.

That is spiritual hygiene.

It is the process of getting yourself back on track. It is focusing on where you are, where you want to be, and who you are becoming. It is understanding that not everyone deserves access to your sacred space. Some people enter to guide and support you, while others enter only to disrupt your vision. Protecting your peace is part of protecting your spiritual hygiene.

This post is deeply personal because honesty and transparency matter to me. I write my stories because I know I am not the only individual struggling, hurting, healing, questioning, or searching for answers. By staying honest and available, I hope my experiences help someone else feel less alone.

Today, I am choosing solutions instead of excuses.

I am choosing to learn healthy ways to cope instead of giving up on my vision. I am choosing truth over shame. I am choosing healing over hiding. I am choosing to spiritually clean the inside of me so that what pours out into the world is positive, healthy, and uplifting.

Everything that happened is still fresh. I have not fully processed it. I do not know exactly how I will handle every emotion that comes with it. But I know this is another chapter in my story, and I will face it with honesty.

My children’s opinions matter to me because I love them deeply. They are not extensions of me; they are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. Knowing what they may have felt seeing me in that condition is difficult to carry. Yet I also know that shame cannot become my permanent address.

This morning reminded me that pain can be physical, emotional, and spiritual. It also reminded me that healing requires all three.

As I continue through this day, I will give myself grace. I will seek understanding instead of judgment. I will release unnecessary pain, unhealthy attachments, unsupportive people, and environments that prevent growth.

This is my truth.

And sometimes spiritual hygiene begins with simply telling the truth and allowing yourself the space to heal.